The average breakup can cost well over $10,000, according to tales of woe I’ve read in blog articles, social media accounts, and from people who have lived it.
I was, at first, dubious. But the math shakes out.
Breakups are emotional earthquakes. They rattle the foundations of your life — your routines, your relationships, and, more often than not, your bank account. From moving out to glow-up spending sprees to drowning your sorrows in a $13 smoothie at yoga retreats, breakups come with a hefty price tag.
My last breakup, before I met my husband, cost me $10,050. I lucked out with a cheap sublet for several weeks before purchasing a house in Minneapolis. I rented out the spare bedrooms to cover the mortgage, and gradually built $25K equity in the home over the next couple of years.
But even with those wins, I found myself running a marathon — literally — to prove to my ex I had the discipline he doubted. It’s not because I was trying to win him back; I wasn’t. But I’m petty, and I thrive on spite. And sometimes, a little venom is healthy for the soul.
All the while, I was dealing with other unexpected costs and setbacks: paying for a couple’s portrait session with my dog Kermit, shouldering his surprise medical bills, and learning that tumbling down the stairs at just the right angle will take out drywall.
And I wasn’t alone.
Fran Johnson, a Miami native, was 23 and broke at the time of her last breakup. She had been living in London while doing an internship at Reuters and recently extended her stay to be with her British boyfriend — until it all unraveled. The financial wreckage?
- $1,600 for a last-minute flight back to Miami (thankfully, she had a place to stay for free).
- $500 to fly her dog.
- $500 to ship the belongings that wouldn’t fit in her suitcase.
- $1,000 moving from Miami to Seattle.
- $4,500 for first, last, and security on a teeny tiny apartment in Seattle.
- $1,200 at IKEA for a bed frame, mattress, and a tiny table—though she briefly considered just putting a mattress on the floor because money was tight.
- $75/month for therapy.
- And the most unexpected cost of all: It took her years to be able to watch a British male lead in a movie again.
The receipts add up to $9,300 — before you add in the monthly therapy bills and inability to watch British romcoms. How do you put a price tag on that level of cinematic devastation?
Ten years later and living with her American husband, Johnson still mourns the period of her life when she couldn’t watch Hugh Grant movies.
No matter how amicable, breakups cost time, money, and emotional energy. There are the big costs — moving, therapy, and glow-up spending — but also the unexpected ones. The ones that hit when you suddenly have to pay someone to do household tasks your ex used to handle, or when your single-person financial instability is exposed.
Of course, for a lucky few, breakups are relatively cheap.
Isaac M. spent only 200 euros to DHL his ex’s belongings back to her. Carson S. spent around $1,500 (or $2,339 when adjusted for inflation) on his last breakup 17 years ago, a figure that includes a $300 one-way Greyhound ticket.
Every breakup comes at some kind of financial cost.
Moving out: Escape ain’t cheap
The costs: $5,000
Moving out is often the first major financial hurdle of a breakup, and it’s rarely cheap.
With a relationship gone defunct, you’re staring down the logistical nightmare of splitting your shared space: at least one of you has got to move.
If you’re lucky, you’re just covering a few months of rent on a new place. If you’re not, you’re throwing thousands at deposits, moving costs, and brand-new furniture.
According to Zillow, the U.S. rental market is steep with the average monthly rent at $2,000. Just paying the first month and last month’s rent alone is $4,000. Moving costs, new furniture, and other logistics easily add up to another $1,000.
Therapy: Retail’s better cousin
The costs: $225 to $2,600 for three months of therapy.
- Weekly sessions: $100–200 (~$1,200–2,400 for three months)
- Sliding-scale options: Available for those with tighter budgets
For some, the investment may be even more significant. Take Mark G. who invested $12,000 in therapy as he moved on — money he feels was well spent.
If you can’t swing weekly sessions, look for free resources, mental health apps, or support groups to help process your emotions without overloading your finances.
The glow-up: Thriving, not crying
Once the tears dry, the glow-up phase begins. This is the part where you remind yourself — and your ex — that you’re a phoenix rising from the ashes of your relationship.
It’s empowering but can be very expensive.
The costs:$1,025 to $5,500
- Gym memberships and classes: $225 – $3,000 for three months
- Beauty treatments: $300–$1,500 (from haircuts to Botox to “I’m hot now” facials)
- Wardrobe refresh: $500–$1,000
One friend, who asked to remain unnamed and unaliased, swears by a $1,500 balayage-and-Botox combo to “erase the stress of my ex from my face.”
Some exes in glow-up mode drop even thousands more, shelling out for pole-dancing classes, teeth whitening treatments, portrait sessions, and expensive self-care retreats abroad.
Putting yourself out there
Rejoining the world as a singleton is spendy. Dating, reconnecting with friends, and “finding yourself” don’t come cheap.
The costs: $1,400 to $8,000
- Dating apps and profile glow-ups: $0–500
- Portraits: $200 to $1,000
- Social outings: $200–500/month (from cocktails to concerts)
- Solo vacations: $1,000–5,000
Adding up the receipts: $7,650 – $21,100+
Adding up these figures, the starting cost of a break-up is $7,650. On the high end, a break-up can run you $21,100 or more, particularly if the break-up marks the end of a marriage.
With attorney fees, divisions of retirement accounts and home sale proceeds, alimony, and child support, heartache can cost a small fortune.
As Julia K., one divorced mom shares her divorce cost her millions —- and that’s before counting the costs of furnishing a new home and now paying $29,000 a year for full-time childcare.
The consequences will linger for decades. “I initially was planning to retire at 60,” says Julia. “Now maybe 70? Maybe death?”
Rebuilding without wrecking your wallet
1. Set a budget for your glow-up
It’s okay to splurge a little — sometimes a fresh haircut or a new outfit is the emotional pick-me-up you need. But breakups can push even the most financially responsible among us into treat-yourself mode, where every impulse buy feels like self-care. The problem? That “new me” credit card balance doesn’t disappear when your heartbreak does.
Instead of throwing money at every “glow-up” whim, be strategic. If you’re itching to make a change, set a spending limit that makes sense for your budget. Prioritize the stuff that actually makes you feel better long-term — like a solid gym membership over a pile of fast fashion impulse buys. And if you really need a retail therapy moment, set up a splurge fund that won’t wreck your future.
Also, keep in mind: A glow-up isn’t just external. Investing in hobbies, professional growth, or learning something new (without maxing out your credit card) can be even more powerful than a balayage-and-Botox combo.
2. Invest in therapy over retail therapy
A breakup can send your emotions into a tailspin — anger, grief, relief, regret, a sudden urge to text your ex at 2 a.m. (don’t do it).
It’s tempting to distract yourself with stuff: new clothes, fancy skincare, a sudden obsession with upgrading your home decor.
But while that serotonin hit from a Temu haul lasts a few days, actually dealing with your emotions will serve you long after your ex is just a footnote in your life story.
Therapy is an investment in your sanity. Even if you’re not crying into a pint of ice cream every night, having a professional help you process the loss (and the lessons) can keep you from spiraling into self-destructive patterns — or repeating them in your next relationship.
And if weekly sessions aren’t in your budget? There are free and low-cost resources out there: therapy sliding scales, mental health apps, support groups, and even online communities that provide structured guidance.
Some free mental health apps to get you started:
- Mindshift: Anxiety-relief support and peer-to-peer (P2P) community support.
- My Possible Self: Tips, visuals, and mental health exercises.
- Calm: Manage stress and anxiety through sleep, mindfulness, and meditation.
- Happify: Science-based games to overcome negative thoughts, stress, and challenges.
3. Reconnect with your community
Breakups have a way of shrinking your social world. Maybe you lost a few mutual friends in the split, or maybe you were in a full-blown bubble and now realize you haven’t seen your non-romantic friends in months — if not years. Either way, one of the best (and cheapest) ways to recover is to rebuild your support system.
And no, this doesn’t mean you have to go out every night and shotgun vodka sodas. Reconnecting doesn’t have to be expensive or exhausting; it just has to be intentional.
Start small: Text a friend, plan a coffee date, rejoin a group you used to love. If you moved to a new place, try meetups, hobby-based social groups, volunteering, or even picking up a side hustle gig that places you in face-to-face contact with new people.
Friendships and community aren’t just good for emotional support—they also keep you from making reckless, lonely-spending decisions (do you really need a $6,000 reset trip to Bali right now? Probably not).
4. Talk to a financial advisor
When breakups require a disentanglement of shared finances, things get even more complicated. Suddenly, you’re covering everything solo, adjusting to a lower household income, or even shouldering debts that your ex racked up. This is the perfect moment to assess, reset, and rebuild.
A financial advisor can help you get clarity on your next steps: Should you adjust your budget? Refinance debts? Rework your savings plan?
Even if you’re not dealing with divorce-level financial fallout, getting your money situation under control can help you feel way more stable moving forward.
Can’t afford a financial advisor? There are plenty of free or low-cost resources, including nonprofit financial counseling services, online budgeting tools, and personal finance communities that can offer guidance.
The key is not avoiding your finances just because dealing with them is stressful. The sooner you take control, the faster you’ll bounce back.
Final thoughts
Breakups suck, but they’re also a chance to hit reset. Yes, the costs can be staggering: moving out, therapy, glow-ups, and outings all add up fast. For some, it’s a few thousand dollars and a bruised ego. For others, it’s a financial wrecking ball that takes years to recover from. Either way, the goal isn’t to win: It’s to rebuild in a way that works for you.
And as final parting words of advice, if you’re in a temporary housing setup, don’t splurge on expensive bathroom products.
Ten years later, Fran Johnson mourns the expensive, salon-grade Olaplex shampoo and conditioner she had to leave behind at her mom’s place in Miami. “I’m still mad about it. I couldn’t take them with in my carry-on [luggage].”
Make sure anything you buy during your transitional living phase can spark joy and survive your next relocation. Otherwise, like Johnson, your bath products may become another casualty of transatlantic heartbreak.
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